


If it hurts this much, then it must be love

by Bluueeyedboo (bluueeyedboo)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), 5SOS, Lashton - Fandom
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Break Up, Crying Luke, Cuddles, Cute, Drunk Luke, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I dont know how to tag, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Michael and Calum are only mentioned in this, One Shot, Oops, Sad Ashton, Sad Luke, Short One Shot, ashton irwin/luke hemmings one shot, but it's only mentioned, cute lashton, im sorry for hurting my boys but, lashton one shot, malum, mentions of cuddling, sad fic, side malum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:29:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2242536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluueeyedboo/pseuds/Bluueeyedboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke and Ashton. Ashton breaks up with Luke and Luke gets drunk off his ass because it's their anniversary and he misses Ashton a lot. So, he drives to Ashton's and they talk and yeah. Not that great, pretty shitty ending but you should read it anyway. </p><p>I'm Sorry by The Maine gave me the idea, so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If it hurts this much, then it must be love

**Author's Note:**

> Random thing I wrote tonight, for some reason. It's not that great and the end sucks but whatever.  
> Title from Always Attract by You Me At Six.

It was three am and Luke was drunk again. He shouldn't have been driving, he knew that, but he couldn't stop thinking about Ashton. He'd hurt him again and again but Ashton still stayed until this time. 

Luke had really fucked up this time, and he finally lost Ashton. 

Luke's not okay, it's been two weeks and he's been trying, he really has. He's been faking a smile so often that it nearly feels real. But, when he's with Michael and Calum it's harder because he knows they notice that it isn't quite real and he knows they see the cracks and the unshed tears and the bottles of alcohol he used to never drink but he also knows they're kind enough not to mention it for now. They're letting him try to heal himself. Luke thought he was doing a pretty good job but, it's hardest at night. When he lays in the bed that still smells a little like Ashton and him, a bed that's filled with too many memories of him, of them together. 

He usually refrains from calling Ashton, from begging him to come back, to come home when he's like this, when he's this upset. 

But, tonight, he's weaker than usual. Today would have been his and Ashton's anniversary. All day he couldn't stop remembering the memories that him and Ashton had shared over the time they were together. Memories of before they were anything but best friends. Everywhere he looked in his own home had caused him pain. He'd just see Ashton. 

Him and Luke listening to their favorite bands together on his bed, eating toast that Luke made at the coffee table, watching movies together and cuddling on his couch. It hurt so Luke left and he hadn't known where to go, he'd had a lot to drink already. He hadn't realized he'd been driving to Ashton's until he was about halfway there. 

Luke wishes he could forget sometimes, wishes he could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia so he didn't have to remember every goddamn thing about Ashton. But, then he thinks, at least I had him. At least I can remember when we were happy. 

So, here he is, driving on an empty road in the middle of the fucking night just to get to Ashton.

He's crying, and he's thankful that he's the only one on the road right now. He's nearly crashed about five times as it is, he makes it to Ashton's house though.

He tumbles out of the car and staggers up to the front door. He has to ring the doorbell three times before he hears shuffling. And then the door is being flung open and he's face to face with a rumpled looking Ashton. He's got puffy eyes and his sandy colored hair is in a disarray. Even now Luke can't help but think he's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. 

"What are you doing here, Luke?", Ashton snaps at him, anger and sadness on his face. And Luke feels even worse, because he brought those emotions into Ashton's hazel eyes and they shouldn't be there. He should be happy and smiling, dimples and all, and he should be laughing and singing and god, Luke's so selfish. He couldn't just let Ashton be happy without him, could he? He's a selfish bastard and Ashton deserves better and he knows that he does. 

And Luke's crying at this point, he can feel the hot tears running down his cheeks and he needs to leave. He can feel himself shaking and he can hardly breathe. He needs to leave right now. He feels so pathetic crying in front of this boy who put up with him for so much longer than he needed to, longer than he should have. He needs to let Ashton be happy. Because, Luke knows Ashton will be better off without him. Luke's a fuck up who can't stop hurting him. Luke's like dark clouds and Ashton's like the fucking sun. 

He can see Ashton's face, though it's a bit blurry because of the tears, and he looks so upset, he looks like he might even cry. And that makes Luke feel more horrible than he usually does. He kind of wishes he didn't exist right now, wishes he was never born because then he never would have hurt Ashton. He kind of wishes he really would have crashed on the way over. 

Luke realizes he must have said that out loud because when Ashton speaks he says, "Don't say that, Luke. Please don't say that.",and now he's crying and there's no more anger in his voice just sadness. 

"I'm so sorry, Ashton. I'm so sorry for everything i've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry for coming here tonight. I'm sorry we didn't work out. I'm sorry that i'm such a fuck up. I'm sorry you had to put up with me. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm so sorry.", Luke cries. And he turns to leave but Ashton's grabbing his arm and he's turning him around to face him and then he's kissing him and their tears are mixing together but it's perfect because it's them. 

"Luke Hemmings, Don't you say that. You're not a fuck up. It wasn't me putting up with you, it was me being in love with you. You never wasted my time. Luke, I was happy with you, even though you made mistakes, I loved you anyway. And I still do, I'm sorry for hurting you and leaving you.", Ashton says, tears soaking through Luke's shirt. 

"You deserve better than me, Ash."

"You're the best person out there for me, Lukey. You're the only one I want. If anyone deserves better it's you.", Ashton tells him.

"God, we're a mess aren't we?", Luke says, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, we really are but we can be a mess together can't we?", Ashton asks, looking up at Luke with a nervous expression.

"Of course, we can. I'm sorry for everything, Ashton. I'm not gonna hurt you again, well, I'm gonna really try not to."

"Me too, Luke. I love you, so much."

"I love you too. Now, I think we should sleep."

"So do I.", Ashton says and leads Luke inside and to his bedroom. 

That night, as Luke's falling asleep in a bed that smells like him and Ashton, it doesn't hurt. It makes him smile.


End file.
